What is a divorce coach and how do you know if you need one?
We are not always aware that we have a problem. Many people just assume that a divorce will be a tough process and that it is normal to struggle. If you are not aware that there is a problem, then you will not know that there is a solution or someone who can help you fix it. Finding out that you are not alone and that many people are feeling just like you, can be a big relief.
When I was a student, if my clapped-out old banger of a car made a strange noise, my solution was to turn up the music, so that I could not hear it. Unless the car stopped working, I filed the noise under miscellaneous and did not view it as a problem. It would usually be weeks later, during a visit home, that my dad would ask about the mysterious car noise. He knew that there was a problem and had a mechanic in mind to get it fixed.
A coach is a supportive guide that will help you to make better decisions by providing motivational and emotional support. There are many types of coach, who have areas of special expertise or a niche. A divorce coach will help you to navigate your divorce – your way.
What sort of problems does a divorce coach help to fix?
Intelligent, professional women are capable and able to achieve many things. They brilliant at problem solving and getting results. They are many things to many people:
Divorce throws complicated emotions and unexpected problems into your busy life. It might feel like you should be able to work out what to do and how to fit everything together all by yourself.
Of course, you can do it, BUT it is time consuming, stressful, exhausting and puts you at risk of burnout. There is an inevitable overspill into your professional life. You may give the outward appearance of a calm swan floating on the water, but underneath your feet will be pedalling furiously.
What is the power of community and networks?
I am a strong advocate for the power of community and networks.
Do any of the following thoughts resonate with you?
- I don’t have enough hours in the day
- I am worried about how much my divorce is costing
- I have no time to look after myself
- I feel like I am constantly fighting fires without making progress
- I am sick of others telling me how I should think, feel and act
- I want to protect my children
- I want to have a clear plan of where I am going
- I do not know where my confidence has gone to
- I am worried that my performance at work has dropped
- I am feeling overwhelmed
- I want to improve communication with my Ex
If you answered yes to any of those problems, then you are not alone. Your stress levels reduce when you know that you have something in common with other professional women. There are many groups on various platforms to help you find the level of support you need.
The Divorce Village is the community, that I have set up, for professional women. It provides that much needed support and networking opportunity. There is also the valuable addition of curated content, monthly themes, online live/recorded events and meet-ups
I do have some more good news. Divorce is an amazing opportunity for transformation.
Right now, you may feel like it is the worst time of your life and that nothing is going your way.
There are many personal and professional challenges standing between pre-divorce and the new YOU. Some of them are exciting opportunities, which will allow you to transform.
You are an amazing professional woman already. You have the power to transform into a joyful, successful, thriving, divorced professional woman. The transformation is within your grasp, as you have all you need within you right now. Coaching offers the opportunity to learn how to step around the obstacles in your path.
What does a divorce coach help you to do?
A good coach:
- Is led by you and helps you to solve your problems. You will be in the worst possible divorce that you can imagine because it is personal to you. No comparisons are welcome here.
- Acts as a guide and is not the heroine in your story. You are in the starring role. Your unique problems are standing between you and the outcomes you want to achieve. You are working to your agenda and not taking advice from the coach, to find your solutions.
- Asks the right questions and holds space for you to find your solutions.
- Provides the opportunity for you to transform your life. You can go from a place of chaotic, confusing, emotional turmoil to a much better destination. A place where you can be calm, focussed and able to make good decisions which reflect your values.
- Acts as a guide bringing experience, authority, empathy, challenge, ideas and support.